Still Here: Why I Stay in Tech, Even When It's Hard

Something happened recently that made me question my career choices (again).

I’m about to turn 37. I’ve been leading in technology for over a decade. I’ve managed complex product portfolios, supported high-performing teams, and championed programs that not only saved millions, but also impacted lives. And still, something feels off.

Sometimes work feels like a battle. Even with data and expertise, questioning the status quo feels less like contribution and more like... rebellion.

I’ve been thinking a lot about broken systems as I pursue my MBA in IT Management. I certainly didn’t go back to school because I lacked skills, and I’m starting to see that I may not get answers to my most pressing questions from further education: Why are so many broken systems allowed to exist? Why, after years of experience and impact, does it still feel so hard to lead in this space?

I Didn’t Plan This

With an undergrad education in Marketing and Fine Arts, my path into tech wasn’t planned.

In fact, I joined a rotational program early in my career and very seriously considered quitting when I got placed in a technology rotation. I didn’t have a computer science degree or know how to code, so my confidence in being able to do this work was phenomenally low.  But instead of quitting, I leaned in. 

What I learned (and fell in love with) in that Infrastructure role is that technology is both structurally logical and deeply creative – a bit how I like to describe myself. I couldn’t – at the time – keep obsessing over building the thing, so I looked beyond the systems, and I became curious about who people are and how people think, collaborate, and make decisions. I observed the infinite ways engineers chose to approach problems. 

And that worked for me. I was promoted into leadership from my very first technology role.

The Leaders that See You

We don’t talk enough about the people who see us before we see ourselves. I’d like to pay tribute to a couple people who molded me in my professional career. 

The first person who saw me was – ironically – the same leader who joked “when we interviewed you, we didn’t think you’d last two weeks.” His name is Jim, and I still love proving him wrong.

Jim never gave me a break, but he did give me opportunities that changed my career trajectory. Albeit, without the title or the pay raise, he promoted me into leadership at 25 years old, managing people twice my age and products that impacted 40,000+ nodes across the enterprise. He gave me room to rise. On the surface, it was a sink or swim role; behind the scenes, he always had my back.

Having that kind of leadership matters, and there isn’t enough of it. I would not have stayed in IT if it weren’t for Jim, and not having leaders like Jim (direct, clear, trusting, supportive) in my recent past is likely the source of my career-related uncertainties.

The next great leader came almost a decade later, Mike. He was the CIO of my former employer, and although I didn’t report directly to him, I heard about that interview years later as well. “If you don’t hire her, I will” is what he told my future manager.  Our paths crossed for only nine months at that company, but we’d built enough of a foundation to stay in touch through life events and career turbulence.

Mike was the leader who showed up and was just human when there was nothing for him to gain. He knows my family. He’s dropped off luggage at my parents’ house. He’s gotten onesies for my kids. He was crazy enough to report to me for six months, and still reminds me that I have CxO potential. I’m still trying to believe him.  

To me, Mike represents friendship (obviously) and hope (let me expand). Hope for human connection, for doing the right thing, for a better way to do IT and business, for a healthier generation of companies, leaders, and IC experiences.

There are many, MANY generous leaders in the Indy community who regularly solidify this hope for me. Find yours. Be one of them. It’s powerful.

***In the spirit of Women in Tech Week, let me point this out: over 80% of IT executives are men. Most of us don’t have the privilege to choose either way, but I’ll say this: it’s okay. There are many fabulous male leaders and allies out there. Join forces. Change the script together. ***

The Leaders that Don’t See You

I wish this section didn’t have to exist, and although it hurts, bad leaders are great teachers. Not in strategy or skill, but in the way they make you feel – because that’s what we remember. We remember the feeling. If you have experienced a leader who undermined or manipulated, who ghosted, who wore different masks, who offered feedback that cut instead of lifted… good. Now you can do better.

Don’t accept criticism from those you don’t respect; their feedback says more about them than you. The most important thing we can do as leaders is not repeat toxic patterns.

Still Here

Did you know that 50% of women leave tech roles by age 35? (Accenture and Girls Who Code, 2019.)

Given my personal experience with having babies at 32 and 33 years of age, boy am I not surprised that most of us would rather do absolutely anything else than pump in a windowless supply closet while being quietly sidelined for juggling family and career responsibilities. (Women are quite possibly superheroes.)

So here I am, slightly past that 35-year-old threshold. Still in IT. Still evolving. Still trying to make my professional house feel more like home.

I’ve built this skillset very intentionally – with the focus of solving real-world problems while supporting the backbone of what makes most organizations run nowadays. Lately, I’ve also leaned into something I’ve had all along: a drive to make this space more welcoming, more human. A drive to embrace the freedom of clarity (shout out, Jim), and have the courage to embrace the messy middle of creative solutions (shout out, Mike). There’s space in this industry to maintain high expectations while caring for the soul of each organization – its people.   

Reimagining Leadership

Of course, I know how to navigate this landscape by now, but that’s only part of the reason I stay.  I’m still here because tech needs leaders like me. I invite you to build a better future of tech together. Let’s:

• Value people who support both the logic and the soul of innovation. More than ever before, reward curiosity.

• Bring back inclusion – not as a buzzword, but a business strategy. Inclusive teams lead to better outcomes, for both employees and customers.  

• Create cultures where everyone has a voice and strategic direction is discovered together. Leadership may hold the power, but individual contributors carry the insight.  

• Know how to build; not just systems and products, but people. Value people for what they uniquely bring, and let them rise.   

While I don’t feel like I belong in every room, I’m content at my conclusion that I belong in this prickly industry. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.

And I’m not done building it yet.

Sources:

Accenture & Girls Who Code (2019). Resetting Tech Culture: What it will take to create gender equality. https://www.accenture.com/_acnmedia/PDF-109/Accenture-Resetting-Tech-Culture.pdf